5 Habits That Will Transform Your Sex Life
We all crave better sex—but where do we begin? The truth is, it starts with YOU. Transforming your sex life doesn’t have to be complicated; it’s about small, consistent changes that lead to big, juicy results.
Here are 5 habits you can adopt today to completely elevate your (sex) life:
Practice Relaxed Awareness with Focus
A regulated nervous system is a regulated pleasure system. Before diving into pleasure, you need to learn how to relax into the present moment. This is where mindfulness comes in. Think of it as foreplay for your brain—teaching your body how to be fully present during solo or partnered play.
Embody Through Practice:
Keep your eyes open with a soft gaze and count 10 breaths, inhaling and exhaling through your nose (count on each exhalation).
If your mind wanders (it will, and that’s okay), gently bring it back and start the count again.
Place a candle in front of you and focus on the flame to help ground your attention.
Master Proper Breathing
Your breath is your body’s best translator. Shallow, quick breaths scream, “It’s not safe to relax!” But slow, deep belly breaths send the message: “I’m open, I’m calm, and I’m ready for pleasure.” Proper breathing is your secret weapon—not just for sex, but for how you show up in every moment of your day.
Embody Through Practice:
Place one hand on your heart and the other on your belly.
Inhale through your nose until your lungs feel full, then exhale through your mouth with a soft sigh.
Relax your jaw completely (wide enough to fit two fingers sideways) and repeat as often as possible throughout the day.
Move Your Body (Especially Your Pelvis & Hips)
Your pelvis is your pleasure hub, but it’s also where we often store tension and trauma. Freeing up this area can help unlock your body’s full potential for sensation—from deeper orgasms to lasting longer in bed. And guess what? Movement doesn’t have to be fancy or “sexy” to be effective; it just has to feel good.
Embody Through Practice:
Stretch your back and legs to loosen up.
Turn on music that makes you feel alive and move your hips freely. Circle, sway, rock—whatever feels natural.
Forget what it “should” look like and focus entirely on how it feels. Your goal is to release tension and create openness.
Tap into Pleasure (In and Outside the Bedroom)
Pleasure isn’t just about sex—it’s a state of mind, a way of being. The more you train your brain to notice and savour pleasure in everyday life, the easier it becomes to access those feelings during intimacy. Think of it as a practice of expanding your pleasure vocabulary.
Embody Through Practice:
During any activity (drinking coffee, taking a bath, or even folding laundry), ask yourself:
Where does this experience fall on my pleasure scale (1 = meh, 10 = orgasmic af)?Then ask: How can I make this a 10—or at least get close?
Keep it simple and playful. You’ll be amazed at how quickly this shifts your relationship with pleasure.
Cultivate Solo Pleasure
Listen, you deserve to be your own best lover. A regular self-pleasure practice is the ultimate act of self-care—and it’s the key to discovering what truly turns you on. When you know what lights your fire, you’ll feel more confident guiding your partner to do the same.
Embody Through Practice:
The next time you’re in the mood, ditch your routine and try:
Different pressures
Varying speeds
Unique strokes or motions
Exploring new areas of stimulation
Using different fingers or hand techniques
Treat it as an experiment. The more you explore, the more connected you’ll feel to your desires—and the more fun you’ll have communicating them.
Give these a try - at least one, and commit for a week minimum! See if you can sense a change :)
